There are so many people that have these incredible ideas but never make a decision on that. Why is that? The answer is it is our mind and how it's wired!
We are all made to believe that you have to feel ready in order to change. We buy into this complete falsehood that at some point we will have this courage, at some point we will have the confidence to make the decision and change whatever we like....and to some extent we are right, but here is the trick!
We are simply not designed to do things that are scary, uncomfortable or difficult. Our brains are design to protect us from what is uncomfortable. Our brain's main job is to keep us alive! So in order to change, in order to build business, to do things for your family, for your community, to do great things with your life, to work towards your dreams… you will have to do things that are difficult, uncertain, and scary.
We only feel motivated to do things that are easy.
Why is it so hard to do the little things that will improve my life?
The way our minds are designed is to stop you from doing anything that might hurt you.
This is a habit that we all have - the hesitation. We have an idea and we stop and we hesitate... and never say anything, never do anything. In that millisecond of hesitation our body sends the stress signal to the brain and your brain goes to the mode to protect you. And trust me; it has a million ways to "protect you". And then you hear that little voice in your head nagging at you and telling you to rather stay safe ...and comfortable, and... stuck! Also one very efficient, but non productive, way the brain tries to protect you is to make the problem seem even bigger than it really is - the magnifying glass syndrome. Just to scare you away from, god forbid, starting or doing it again and getting hurt!
We are all just one decision away from a different dynamics in our marriages, different life, different job, income, different relationship with our children or spouse. You can learn how to take control of that micro moment and make a decision to act certain way that will change everything.
You can truly trace every problem or complaint in your life to your silence and hesitation.
So here is the 5 second "Blast Off" window rule: before your brain kicks in the gear and tries to stop you.
None of us wakes up and says today is the day I destroy my life. It is ok to hit the snooze button. But here is the thing, what we do is we kind of check out because we are overwhelmed, scared and afraid; because we start listening to our own self doubt. We make this little decisions to not to deal with our finances, all day long, not get up on time, not to eat the right thing, to not call our parents… and then one day you wake up and wonder how the hell did I get here? And then you think how do you solve this big problem? You get stuck in the "knowledge trap". You know what to do but you just can’t make yourself do it. You just can’t get out of the head, thinking. You have the knowledge what to do but can’t get out of the head to actually feel like doing it.
You always have a chance to go from autopilot passenger to the decision maker - the pilot. We all know what to do but we don't know how. You can outsmart your own brain in furtherance of higher purpose by doing what is important to you. You interrupt the "habit loop" (behavior that you repeat without even thinking about it) by counting backward from 5 to 1. Yes that's right, just like a launching a rocket into the space. The countdown timer puts this gentle and little uncomfortable pressure on our brain's frontal lobe, it awakens it and it starts the gears inside to make a decision and into a movement thereafter. By practicing it over and over, we become faster and more confident in our decision making process and we start moving closer to our dream goals and desires.
This 5 seconds "Blast Off" countdown method is being used in the military, in elementary schools, recording studios and taping shows, because it requires you to focus. It helps you to insert control. Why do we all count down the last few seconds of the passing year and then start our New Year's resolutions?!
Once you make a decision, when you set your goals and intentions, your brain helps you by setting up the check list and it is very important to develop the skill of inner knowing, to hear the inner wisdom, allow that intention and lean into it quickly.
So how do you go from knowledge to action? Pretend the blast off of NASA into the space!
It doesn't matter if you're extrovert or introvert; confidence is not a personality trait it is a skill. There are many introverts that do not feel comfortable in public speaking, but they are very confident. It is not the sureness; it is the willingness to try.
You can use 5 seconds"Blast off" rule to help rid yourself of an anxiety. Anxiety is a habit of worrying that spirals out of control, the body gets agitated, and you allow your mind to escalate it into full blown panic attack that manifest itself in physical realm. How do you stop worrying and how do you stop listening your own self doubt? When you notice you are talking garbage to yourself, you count backwards 5 to 1 to get yourself from emotional self-abuse to analytical part.
So here is another A-ha moment for you. Being excited is the same thing as being afraid! Your body does not know the difference. Only your mind knows. If you start noticing an anxiety rising inside, remind yourself how excited you are about what is about to happen. Ask interrogative questions: "Why am I ready to do this?" That forces you to answer the question which convinces you. Remember, your brain does whatever it can to magnify the problem to protect you, to get to you. You use the 5 second "Blast off" rule to stabilize your thoughts before it escalates. You use self talk "I am excited, I am excited" and give yourself an anchor thought - I am ok, and envision being safe with positive end-result.
Staying in a horrible relationship that other person treats you like garbage is a decision. Staying in bad job you hate is a decision. Staying in the body that you’re not proud of is a decision. It is your job to push yourself. You will struggle with self doubt, everybody does, but people who have made it have no problem in making decisions, they trust themselves.
One thing is to talk talk talk but to DO things is another thing. So get out there and launch that rocket that you are and shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you end up among the stars.
* Inspired by "Motivation is Garbage" by Mel Robbins