How do our childhood experiences and memories, influence our perception and process of our current reality?

With Cognitive psychology, which interests me the most, I believe our memories of our early childhood experiences affect our perception of our current reality as an adult. The critical aspect of our significant childhood event is the emotional state and mental resourcefulness available to us at that moment. We are more resourceful in a calm and relaxed state than in fight-flight mode.  At the same time and in the exact location, two people can have two opposite experiences based on their memories and their assigned meaning. Their memory meaning has been concluded based on their emotional state and is now related to the current event and how it is perceived. I believe in Cognitive Psychology; we can explore this more profoundly and adapt with new and positive awareness.

As children, just trying to figure out this world and society into which we were born, I think it is a way of surviving, to try to fit in. It gives us a sense of belonging, acceptance, and, hopefully, protection. Gender roles and the structure of society, once observed and understood, initially provide a sense of safety, which is our number one primal instinct. We are also very much motivated by fear, which is implied to us by our parents, peers, society, religion, government, and media. Later in our lives, as maturing pre-adolescents and adults, I believe we might notice the disharmony and outcomes of rigid societal structures and abuse of power.  I believe it is also in our instincts the need to evolve, challenge these obstructions, breakthrough, and grow.

How to Stay Sane(ish) During Lockdown

As humans, we always want to be in control. We seek patterns and adjust to them. Getting set in habits gives us a break and allows us to set life on autopilot. Patterns, habits, and routines help us feel safe, since outcomes are usually predictable .

“Well, not anymore!” says COVID-19. Everything that felt normal has blown up in our faces. The security blanket under neath us has been abruptly yanked away. We are in shock. Things seems chaotic and beyond our control. 

In times like these, we are reminded of other uncertain times we’ve suffered in the past . Sadness, anger, panic, anxiety, fear, frustration, and depression are swallowing us, making us feel unmotivated to carry on our daily lives.

These are all negative emotions that weaken our immune system.

So here is a lifeline!

First, take a deep breath! 

Let’s take a look at the situation from a different perspective as an observer.

And ask yourself, “What is in my control to change, and what isn’t?” 

I can:

• Wash my hands

• Take my vitamins 

• Fight loneliness by staying in touch with friends and family with the help of 21st Century technology

• Spread laughter and kindness to others by staying calm, even if it feels forced

• Offer help to my neighbors while remaining six feet apart and feel a sense of belonging

• Turn off the 24/7 death/sickness count news announcements from all over the world (news from other parts of the country/world are beyond my control and stressing about will lower my immune system)

• Focus on one task at the time  

• Live one day at the time, since I have no way of knowing what tomorrow holds

• Go for a walk and get some sun for at least fifteen minutes every day (that vitamin D is priceless)

When you catch yourself worrying about an uncertain future, ground yourself by coming back to the present moment. Notice sensory inputs like the temperature in the room, the feeling of your breathing, the sights, sounds, and colors around you. For example: Choose some color in your mind and start searching for that color in your environment. Make it a game!

Think about how you can provide emotional support to others. You have the power to make others laugh and offer comfort or distraction from the sorrows. Take it as a challenge!

Take this unnerving time as an opportunity to re-invent yourself. Think of yourself as a butterfly still in a cocoon. You are going through your own transformation. 

There are no longer any excuses. You must go inward and improve yourself with the skills and knowledge of things you’ve always wanted to master.

The world is changing, and your newly learned skills will become useful. If you don’t feel like preparing for the future, then take on these challenges for your own sanity.

Dear COVID-19, Thank You.

Thank you, COVID-19.

You are small, an almost invisible yet powerful monster. You send chills down my spine for how powerful you are. But I refuse to succumb to the fear you project on us. You provoke hate in people by making their lives turn upside down. You are an international terrorist starring in all news and social media.

Despite these negative effects, you have earned my respect, and I thank you for making me see things to which I’d been blind. You’re forcing me to open my eyes and see the world like never before.

I respect you, and I want to thank you for pushing me to grow into a better person.

Your sister monster, 1918 Spanish flu, visited us 90 years ago. But those life-altering lessons have faded away with generations of the past.

COVID-19, I thank you for making us respect our elders more; to care and love for them, knowing they might not be here tomorrow.

We cherish the time that we have left with them, curiously listening to their stories. We have lost our attitudes of dismissal, judgmental and sarcasm. We now say, “I’m here for you, my dear elder.”

We are now more interested in running our households alongside our kids, teaching them valuable life skills. Together, we take care of the family pet, work in the garden, balance the budget, plan a little further ahead, and respect each other’s time and space. Our homes are full of camaraderie and selflessness. 

Thanks to your powerful spread, we are spending more time at home. Even though some of us introverts don’t feel that life has changed much, the opposite is actually true.

But with the world slowing down on the outside, we have a chance now to finish projects that have been long overdue. We are building a raised bed garden, learning how to preserve food, and making jams. We’re learning to be self-sustaining and resourceful. Some of us might even go and rescue some animals.

We love seeing our family becoming less wasteful.

We are grateful that we still have food on the table.

COVID-19, you’ve made us realize that as long as we keep our bodies healthy from the inside out, you can’t harm us. 

As a community, we check on each other more, offering help or just a comforting smile.

“How are you?” has turned from a dead face phrase into a genuine interest in what others have to say in response.

We enjoy the pause from daily business, time to slow down and take care of ourselves; to read, work out, cook something with loved ones, meditate, or be able to hear our own thoughts. We take our dogs on long walks, play with them, and appreciate their company.

You’ve made us realize how much we need each other now more than ever. A necessary shift has occurred where society moves from an individualistic, selfish “me” to a considerate and generous “WE.”

You’re making us realize the power of fear on some. These panicked individuals are overreacting to the detriment of others. But we refuse to label society based on the irrational behavior of a few, extremely frightened individuals.

COVID-19, You are a monster and have taken dear people away from us. At the same time, you are teaching us to be stronger, smarter, and kinder. You are making us re-think our ways.  You are making us take a deep look into ourselves and see both the beauty and the ugliness. We have realized that something has to fundamentally change in the way we do things. You are forcing us to make intentional, powerful much-needed adjustments in the way we live as individuals and a community.

We have learned to thrive - not just survive.